I’ve missed a few days, haven’t I….Not in a good place. Haven’t been in a while – Haven’t left the house in a few days and feel as though I’m rotting. I feel fat because I am since I have gained more weight. I am uncomfortable in my skin. I want to run like I use to but I am sick of trying. The nausea. Having to stop. I’m just fucking sick of it. I don’t have anything inspiring to say today because that’s not the true face of rehab. Especially rehab from abuse. I’m always scared. Always fearful. I want to be as strong as I sometimes think I can be, but I am tired. I feel depleted. I am scared. I began blogging again about how society treats victims. I want to go outside and breathe the air but I can’t. I get in my car and I go to appointments. I want to get out of this area. I want to get out and start over. I want a lobotomy.
Published by Share your story to bring change for victims of abuse
On December 21, 2016, I was assaulted by my boyfriend of 5.5 years. The constant gaslighting, love bombing, punishing and discarding left me questioning my own reality and sanity. If that wasn't enough, I learned that the justice system, and even professionals meant to be there for victims of abuse, are not appropriately educated, and that is why I intend to turn this dark period of my life into something positive. I know I am not alone! So, we must work to change policies and laws to better protect women. The first step to change is awareness and the only way to bring awareness is to share our stories and change the landscape of what is deemed appropriate for victims of abuse. Why should victims have to stay quiet and not say a word about their abusers? Why are we expected to not only deal with the trauma and shame that resulted from the abuse, but be expected to protect their identity. Why are we expected to not show emotion, and why are we deemed unstable if we do? I'm sick of it so let's shake things up and bring change where it's needed. Enough! View all posts by Share your story to bring change for victims of abuse