I’ve missed a few days, haven’t I….Not in a good place.  Haven’t been in a while – Haven’t left the house in a few days and feel as though I’m rotting.   I feel fat because I am since I have gained more weight.  I am uncomfortable in my skin.  I want to run like I use to but I am sick of trying.  The nausea.  Having to stop.  I’m just fucking sick of it.  I don’t have anything inspiring to say today because that’s not the true face of rehab.  Especially rehab from abuse.  I’m always scared.  Always fearful.  I want to be as strong as I sometimes think I can be, but I am tired.  I feel depleted.  I am scared.  I began blogging again about how society treats victims.   I want to go outside and breathe the air but I can’t.  I get in my car and I go to appointments.  I want to get out of this area.  I want to get out and start over.  I want a lobotomy.

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