Had a nightmare last night of his hands around my neck. I woke up with my heart racing, afraid to move. Had to remove the necklace around my neck. What I did different was I decided to listen to sounding bowl and try to go back to sleep. Last time I looked at the clock, it was about 1.
Got up this morning at 4:30 with my throat shut. Still feel like I can’t breath. It’s 6:30 now so I’m going to go out for a walk run. I have gained 35 pounds – Feel uncomfortable and unhealthy.
Feeling really really scared. I feel I’m failing my children. I want to be a mom again more than anything. I want to take them places and instead I go to doctor’s appointment while they sit at home. That’s what he stole from me most.